I find it curious how much guy-girl relationship advice I’ve given my friends when I’ve never had a boyfriend.
Last night one of my friends here in Boulder was dejected because a girl he had a date with earlier in the week called him a couple days later and said she isn’t ready to date. He was captivated by her from the very start and was sure she was the right one for him. I tried to encourage him to remain friends with her because it’s not him she’s rejected, it’s dating in general–for now. He isn’t sure he could be “just friends” with her because he likes her so much. I completely understand his feelings but I know it’s possible. Besides, it’s better to start a relationship with a good friendship than infatuation while dating.
It was kind of pathetic how low his spirits were after knowing this girl for only a week or two, but I’ve felt the same way before. I don’t think these are healthy feelings. Like the quote by C. S. Lewis I posted the other day, we shouldn’t let our happiness be dependent on something or someone we may lose. I’m learning to let my happiness depend on God but my friend only has what he may lose to put his happiness into.
Also, when something doesn’t work out in my life the way I’d like I can relax and know God is in control. I know he has good plans for my future so I have no reason to be depressed or scared. I also know he works through my weakness and trials. My friend thinks he’s in charge of his future so when he loses something/someone he’d like, it’s understandable he’d feel like a failure.
It’s a fine line to walk when having these conversations. I want to be kind, gentle and encouraging, but also realistic and helpful.