Losing & Gaining Trust & Friendship

“Only trust someone who can see these three things in you: The sorrow behind your smile, the love behind your anger, and the reason behind your silence.”

I think this means a deep trust, not a basic trust. It’s good to trust people who give you no reason not to, but not with your deepest feelings and heart unless they earn it. Very few in my life have earned this kind of my trust and few have tried. It’s probably typical for most people–only to have a few close friends see these three things in one’s self. Sometimes I wish so badly this or that person in my life would know me this well, and I want to trust them like they do, but until they really do–until they care about caring this much–I would be foolish to trust them like they did.

“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.” –George Washington

I was thinking this past week. I’ve experienced another life beautifier–that of re-earned trust. One of the most painful experiences I’ve had is to be hurt deeply by a close friend (pain from those closest to me certainty hurts the most), but this week I was able to feel what it’s like to come back from this pain.

“Be slow to fall into friendship, but when you are in, continue firm and constant.”  –Socrates

Over a year and a half ago this friend of mine broke my trust, the consequence for which was I no longer trusted him like I had, and he knew it. I told him he would have to earn it back, if he wanted it. I spent an afternoon and evening with him again this week, and in his presence I was comfortable and joyful. I thought about it later, wondering why I felt so comfortable around him and realized it’s because I felt safe. That’s when it hit me he really has earned my trust back. This realization made my heart so glad! He actually cared enough to remain good friends after a difficult time in our friendship. Other friends come and go, but this one stayed. I am so grateful he’s in my life. I guess he’s my Winnie the Pooh and I’m his Piglet.

“We’ll be Friends Forever, won’t we, Pooh?” asked Piglet.  “Even longer,” Pooh answered.  –A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh

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