I have ups and downs in life . . . can anyone relate? These aren’t gentle slopes either, my weeks can feel like a roller coaster. I’ll wake up cheerful, encouraged, hopeful and motivated one day, just to feel drug down, discouraged and sad the next. Why is life like this? It’s exhausting! I sometimes feel like I don’t know who I am.
Last weekend at church I heard a sermon from the first chapter of Galatians. I’m thrilled to begin the study of this book, and hope to blog more about it in the future. For now though I want to tell you of what happened after the service. All the music was good, we sang Victory in Jesus, Your Grace is Enough, Amazing Grace (my chains are gone), Unfailing Love, Never Once, and Man of Sorrows . . . some of my favorite songs! Despite my frequent days of feeling lonely and discouraged of late, I was enveloped by the truth in these songs and sang with a joyful heart of God’s love and faithfulness.
As I left the auditorium Sunday morning feeling grateful and hopeful, I caught the eye of the man I broke up with just a few short weeks ago, and my floating heart went thud! I saw sorrow in his eyes as he caught my glance and the pain within him pierced me. I feel helpless. He hurts because I left, but I can’t comfort him. Showing my concern, I feel, would only hurt him more. Oh, I pray for him, and I pray again, but there’s nothing else I can do. He doesn’t want to see me sad for him, but I am. Jesus please help him, and help me. We both need you so desperately.
I have cared for him, and in caring, loved. 1 Corinthians 13:8 says, “Love never ends” and so I love him still. I will always love and care about my friends, including him, because it was sincere love I gave in the first place.
I think of the pain I feel for my friend because he’s hurt by seeing me leave, but then I think of how much more Jesus loves us. Must it not hurt Jesus deeply to see his children turn away from him, and make gods of worthless things, or look for fulfillment in other mere mortals? I want to love this father of mine so fully that I’ll hurt when I see, or do, that which would cause him pain. Isn’t this real love? To be sad when the one you love is sad and joyful when the one you love is joyful? Jesus please break my heart for what breaks yours, and in that bring me closer to you.